As I sit here looking at the beautiful day the Lord has provided a smile crosses my face. God's creations are so beautiful. The cool breeze that blows across my face...so soothing. I wish I could find a spot to sit outside where I could only see God’s creations instead of so many things man has put together. Of course, those who know me understand what I am talking about. I would love to be sitting in the cool Colorado breeze looking out at some of God’s wonderful mountain peaks. I am missing my Colorado trip for 2009. There won’t be one this year. That is the reason I am here, to enjoy all that God created and appreciate the love He has for me.
My body is so used to waking up in the middle of the night from kids coming and going all night long that I no longer sleep straight through the night. Often times I don't fall asleep at all. I no longer have kids, at the moment, that come and go during those early morning hours but my body doesn’t know the difference any more. Something that I have always done for as long as I can remember is pray in those hours that I lay in bed unable to sleep. There are so many needs right now of others that keep me praying for many hours. I have dear friends battling cancer. Some victorious through God’s healing. Some who are close to Heaven’s door getting ready to meet our Lord face to face. The teens in today’s world are under tremendous pressure from peers to do drugs, have sex outside of marriage and many other things that may seem small in comparison. Many marriages that have been strong for years are breaking up and torn apart. That is the reason I am here, to lift those up that need prayer.
I believe Satan is running ramped trying to destroy as much as he can before God removes him from this earth. Prayer is a powerful thing and we all need to join together and lift these needs up to combat Satan’s plans to destroy our children and our families. That is the reason I am here, to join with other believers and fight against all Satan wishes to destroy!
Those things are so heavy on my heart but something closer to home is even heavier. I have so much to be thankful for, so much! God has been so good. My husband and I celebrated 26 years of marriage this past April. Praise God! We have four healthy, happy children. He is so good! And those who know some things that have been going on since March know that I have been weighted down with some struggles that I believe Satan has masterminded in the hearts of some of the people in our midst. But God has reigned supreme in that matter! He has led us to a wonderful church with a heart for missions and open arms for all of our family. What a blessing! Now that isn't to say that there aren't those that I love dearly and honestly love and care about us at the other one. There are many, many that I will make sure I stay in contact with for I know their hearts have that genuine love for us. That is the reason I am here, to be the wife and mom to the family God has given me and serve with a body of believers who has a passion to reach others for Christ.
We have felt the call to missions for some time. The Lord has made that call even stronger in my heart than He has in the past. My husband has had that strong desire for the past 10 years. As we made that commitment to Him we have sought to do His will in those areas to make the path clear. His job is taking all the energy and life out of him to do anything else, with family or otherwise. My income has dropped greatly. I am enjoying the break for a time and trying to get the things done around the house that I have neglected to do in the past because I was watching children all hours of the day and night every day and night of the week.
As much as we don’t want to sell the land in CO, we don’t know what else to do. We have NO WAY of paying for it. And it is due by November 3. We pay a lot each month on interest alone. We have tried to sell the land for the last few months with no offers. We are willing to accept any reasonable offer. But there have been none. What is God doing? I am not sure. The money I was making was paying off the extra debt we had and would have almost been paid off by now had it not dropped in the last couple of months and keeps dropping. The issue that really consumes my thoughts is the look on my husbands face when he comes home from work and gets ready to leave for work. He is so tired and so drained. He is going to work at 9:45 each night and doesn’t get home until after 9 in the morning. He tries to sleep during the day but it is very hard. On the weekends he gets up while we are still asleep (because he is used to being awake at night) and then by 2 in the afternoon he is ready to go to bed. So our time with him is so short. His life is just made up of going to work and trying to sleep. He desires to have a life lived for Christ reaching those that are lost. But until we sell this land or somehow find a way to pay for it, this is the life he must live. It breaks my heart! But I feel so helpless to do anything. I am trying to get the word out about the land to all I can in hopes that God will bring it to the attention of the one who is to buy it. But….
I see him looking at the local paper online of the small town that our land is in. He still longs for that little town, as we all do. But where would the money come from to pay for it? It would be nice to be able to go there between mission trips (or on the sabbaticals) . But I have sought answers to these questions and I really don’t have any answers. We honestly can’t go on this way. John has never been this unhappy in a job, ever. If he finds another job, which he is looking, then the pay will be a LOT less. Which that is fine, but we still have so much to pay on. My heart breaks to see how worn out and miserable he is right now. I would do anything I could to “fix” it. But I don’t see anything that I can do. I have thought about selling everything including the house, only that would not get us much and we wouldn’t have a place to live while we still need one here.
I have been working on our food bill and doing really good. I am trying to make our house a nicer place to be in. I am trying to get the bills paid off as quickly as possible, but the land isn’t something I can pay off. Please lift these things up and if God lays it on your heart to share an idea with me, please do. We have less than 5 months to pay off the land or sell it. We have one year to get other things in order so that at the end of that 42 week training we are ready to go if God is ready to send us. We need this done so we can get out there and share the Gospel to those who do not know Him. Time is short and we must reach as many as we can. Please help us do that by praying that answers will come.
Thanks everyone! You know my heart, please pray for direction and answers. And funds to either pay it off or from selling it. Because the reason I am here are many but the most important is to serve a wonderful, powerful God. To do His will in and through my life, thoughts and actions. My reason for living is to reach others for Christ while there is still time. Christ will return like a thief in the night, in a blink of an eye. I want to be ready when I face my Lord and know that I gave it my all and didn't just go through the motions. Please help us move forward so that our desire to serve the Lord in a powerful way will be realized.
What is the reason you are here? I hope it is the same. May God bless you all in your quest to do that.























